Sunday, April 10, 2011

Extra Work $ux

(Warning: this post contains spoilers for Ke$ha's music video "Blow." But you've probably already seen it.)

Every actor can appreciate the joys (and woes) of background work. As children in youth theatre groups, we're taught that infamous adage: "there are no small parts, only small actors." That phrase has some truth to it; it definitely soothes the sting of not getting the role you felt you deserved. And, in those grand scale musical comedies and classics, an actor truly feels important in the ensemble. The "clapping wallpaper," so to speak, is integral to many scenes. Who would "Professor" Harold Hill convince they were in "terrible, terrible trouble" if his production of "The Music Man" lacked townspeople? How would Val, Mike, Morales, Sheila etc. make the first cut into the Chorus Line without those ensemble dancers during that fab overture (a five, six, seven, eight!)? And don't we love Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?

Well, in film and television, things are a little different. Extra work does not have as much character work behind it as our childhood children's theatre directors would have liked us to believe. It is generally an opportunity to earn a SAG voucher (if you're highly optimistic). Just three pieces of that acting union gold and you might be eligible to buy in! Or, if you've hopped off a Greyhound from who knows where to Hollywood, doing background work can teach you a lot about the ins and outs of being on set (most importantly, where crafty is). Or, in rare cases, an actor might really want to be part of a certain project, even if it means as an extra. Every actor has meditated on (and probably cried over) this topic, and I am no exception. And when I saw a posting to submit for a Ke$ha music video, I simply couldn't resist.

I have a confession. I LIKE Ke$ha's music. Sure, she spells out words in lieu of actual lyrics and seems to believe that repeating the same exact word at the end of two refrains constitutes a rhyme, but her songs are CATCHY. And fun. And why not be part of a music video featuring an artist that I actually know, I thought to myself.

The posting said something about wearing masks and ballgowns. Some kind of masquerade, I thought, and when they called to book me, I didn't think twice about that little stipulation. I was just excited at the notion of being in Ke$ha's presence, even in the role of "Unicorn #14."

The night before the shoot, I notice that the male lead will be played by "James" no last name. When a known actor or artist is on a callsheet, his or her contact information and even last name may not even be disclosed to the rest of the cast and crew.

Hmmm. His name is James? He's doing a Ke$ha video (random/low paying)? It's so obviously James Franco, I think to myself. Who else in Hollywood would do literally ANYTHING and EVERYTHING? Cool. It'll be just like when I used to see him around Columbia campus while he "went" there for grad school. Great. So I brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack and head to bed on time to rise for the early morning shoot.

Cut to me on set. I've been dressed in a ballgown since 8 a.m. It's probably around 8 p.m. now. Maybe. Who knows? My sense of time has completely evaporated since I've been wearing this god forsaken unicorn mask, which I pull off my head in between takes in order to breathe. It still reeks with spray paint fumes. But not to worry! There's a medic on set who's armed with an oxygen tank in case any of us 'corns (that's short for unicorns) passes out. Oh, that's reassuring! Of course, the hipster props mistress who thinks that wearing old jazz shoes as regular street shoes is socially acceptable balks at us "actors" for discussing whether or not wearing these masks under the lights might induce some tinges of anxiety and claustrophobia. Hey, at least she's referring to us as "actors" and not "extras." At this point, even being called an "extra" instead of "unicorn" would suffice. Complain complain complain. Whine whine whine. Where's the union when you really need it to protect you from fumes, masks, Ke$ha's trashy mom who is like an even trashier version of Courtney Love, and hipsters?

But then, he appears. JAMES. No. Not Mr. I Cain't Say No to a Job in this Town Franco. It's James Van Der Beek. No, not some Dutch painter you're trying to remember from Art History class who revolutionized using light as a source within a painting. It's Dawson! Of Dawson's Creek! Oh, if only my middle-school self were here today. If only I could manage to scrunch my mouth to one side and still speak like "Joey" could. These days, Katie Holmes is busy starring in the historically inaccurate miniseries about the Kennedys. Or maybe I should remind him of that wise beyond her years bad girl, "Jen." Michelle Williams is also busy lately, getting nominated for Oscars and such. Suddenly, I feel for James. So many of his Dawson co-stars are tackling their biggest acting roles yet, and here he is with Ke$ha as an acting partner.

That shoot was another reminder of how humbling this business can be. Whether you're trying to breathe through a unicorn mask, or doing a music video opposite Ke$ha to pay the bills, nothing's ever certain for an actor. One day, you're Dawson, and the next, you're Van Der Douche.

So without further adieu, here is the Ke$ha music video that I worked on. I have no idea where I am in this video -- I can't recognize myself. But maybe, just maybe, you can feel my essence as the clapping wallpaper.




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