Hey Party People.
As I recover from my holiday weekend, I'm feeling like I need to address this topic that is constantly burdening me...and I have a feeling some of you can relate. If, in the last 24 hours, you scrolled through your Instagram feed and felt in some way inadequate about your Memorial Day BBQ/plans/or lack thereof - i.e., looked at other people's pics of FUN and were like, why aren't I having this much fun right now?! Why didn't I think to serve sparkling lemonade in adorable mason jars at MY barbeque? Why don't I have a normal adult person job that lets me actually enjoy a three-day-weekend? And so forth - then I'm talking to you (and also am here to remind you that Memorial Day is meant to be about honoring those who have served our country - yes! - so don't feel bad if your plans weren't spectacularly manic and pixie and dreamgirlish). Well, I'm not really talking to you, but with you. Because this is the type of internal monologue that I know I have had and that is really difficult to avoid in this day and age of tweeting/liking/stalking/posting/pinning et. al.
I know I'm not the first to touch on this subject. It's kind of been beaten to death already but I'm still searching and pining for answers. When it comes to the evilest thing I can do to myself - unnecessary COMPARISON - I feel hopeless. Most of my trusted friends would advise me to simply unplug. Indeed, we are all in awe of that person who is way too cool for social media. I applaud him/her for his/her bravery. Often not having a Facebook profile sends as strong a message as having one. To me, it says, "I am way too busy living life to take part in this menial behavior," and that's awesome. But I also think they're missing out sometimes. I know I would miss staying in touch with my family and friends in Israel and elsewhere overseas if I deactivated my Mark Zuckerberg creation. And beyond that, since I am an actress, I really cannot afford to not have some kind of online presence, and I imagine that is true for many other careers as well. I rely on twitter and Facebook and YouTube to circulate content that I'm acting/singing in. To keep in touch with contacts. To approach new contacts. To invite friends, family, and industry professionals to live performances. To provide anyone interested in hiring/working with me with an easy way to politely stalk me. It goes on and on. Not all Hollywood professionals are linked in, so to speak, but many are. So unplugging is not a viable solution for me.
So far, the only answer I've come up with to help me not slide down the slippery comparison slope and die a slow death by comparison is to compare myself only to...myself. It's great to compare yourself to others when it helps...but when all it does is hurt you...not so helpful. Day to day, I may not feel particularly satisfied with my current success. But when I compare it to where I was a year ago, the picture gets a little brighter....usually. And sometimes, a lot brighter. This time last year I wasn't even in the union. What?! What was I even thinking?! I was probably thinking, "look at that other person who is in the union. Why aren't I in the union yet?!" If all else fails, I just compare myself to my grandmother and where she was at my age. You know what she was busy doing while she was my age? Surviving the Holocaust. Yeah. So shut up, Gilli. Your life is not that bad. It's fabulous. And people worked pretty hard to stay alive so that in turn, you could have the privilege of being alive, so really, show this comparison bullshit who's boss. YOU.
Wow, sorry, that got a little dramatic.
I'm happy to report that even though I do maintain the occasional social media profile, that I have been busy living life lately and haven't had that much time to necessarily document and hashtag all of it online, which is refreshing. But I think it's high time to share some of it!
Here's a VIDEO my friend Stephen and I made, featuring an original bluegrass-y song that he and his buddy wrote. We've been rehearsing together a lot over the past six months and have our first full set coming up at the end of June! I got to sing with him at a really fun gig last Saturday night as well.
Next up, I've updated my REEL a bit. Check it out if you're bored!
I've also been working on a really great webseries and EPISODE 6 which I'm in premiered today! Woohoo! Watch it. Share it. Comment on it. You know what to do. And get ready for Episode 7.
I've also been rocking it out in acting class with Mary Lou Belli for the last three months, and have met some amazingly talented people along the way. As the self-appointed "Avail Princess," I've been on avail for many exciting projects and though I didn't book them, I'm feeling myself inch closer and closer to booking some good stuff. Finally, I'll be performing in the Actor's Key International Showcase later in the month with my friend Rosie. We will be doing a wonderful Woody Allen scene - get this - first in Hebrew, then in English. Like the Holiday Showcase I performed in last December, the amazing Carmen Aiello will be directing. Cool. I think A-Year-Ago-Gilli would be very impressed with Right-Now-Gilli. She might even try to compare herself to her. At least that's what I tell myself.
Okay. Unplugging now.
Gilli
